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Creating Family Zen

Think BIG, BOLD and BEAUTIFUL 

Creating Vision for You and Your Family 

This morning why not play out a movie in your mind of how you’d like your day to be.
How would you like to feel today?
If you are with your family today you might like to do this activity together. How could you give each other equal listening today and respect. What would you like to do today and how will you BE?
What will you do when things don’t go to plan, will you respond or react to situations as a family?

Think & Feel Success

Create a successful big, bold and beautiful movie of your day as a family, make it so successful when things do go a little downhill it doesn’t matter because you know how easy it is to pick yourself back up again and get back into the movie.
You could create a timelime of this or draw pictures together, pin it someplace warm and friendly in the house.
Your kids like mine may just go ‘oh mum/dad what are you up to now?’ Infact I expect my husband will raise his eyes a little too.
But you know it’ll get them thinking, it’s planted a seed. They may not wish to engage with this but you are helping to create a vision for the day, if you aren’t raising your eyebrows too!
mount kili summit 2
Feel the day ahead, picture how successful you wish to be. I write this in the context of parenting and family but I have frequently used visual imagery in my life, as I talked about in the video I posted on Saturday on my Facebook Page 

A Family Bucket List 

Above is a photo of me at the top of Mount Kilimanjaro in 2014 with my friend Genes Nolasco Shirima. My family and I lived out in Tanzania for 2 years whilst I taught in an International School. 
Infact, I’d written on my bucket list ‘to climb Kili’ because I thought I ought to, as that’s what most people have on their bucket list,  I didn’t believe I’d achieve many of the things written on the list nor know even where Kili was. I also wrote as my affirmation that ‘I live abroad with my family in a quirky house, with a beautiful view and my children play out freely’. After a series of strange events I found myself with my family teaching in Tanzania opposite a volcano, in a quirky concrete house with my children running around freely on a campus with friends.
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Outside our house in Tanzania, the view of the volcano obscured by the clouds

I also realised soon after accepting the position that Mount Kili was in Tanzania bugger – I now had to climb it -be careful what you put out there.

ZEN Family

Before embarking on the 6 day adventure I looked at the summit of Kili and played out the movie in my mind of getting there, I visualised the steps along the way, and how I wished to feel. I pictured myself at the top.

I also interviewed friends who had successfully climbed and asked for their top tips, including a successful business friend who lived in Tanzania and had climbed it 5 times. He said think ‘ZEN’ – imagine you have already climbed it and rather than concerning yourself with what can go wrong,  enjoy every breath and every moment and be totally present with the mountain experience and just ZEN!

It was tough with the altitude, I was sick near the summit, exhausted, pathetic and cried, but kept playing out the success movie and had a big belief that I’d make it. I had done a lot of yoga breathing and meditation along the way and experienced many ZEN moments. There’s no way without Gene’s positivity, support and guidance though I’d have made it. Pick the right guides to model in your life,  as you’ll start to think and behave like them.  I was also OK with not finishing as just BEing on the mountain had been so special.

 

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Yoga on Mount Kili

Have a wonderful day, think success, dream big and bold and read your family bucket list again.  Can we be successful and zenful at the same?
Jane x
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ZEN – courtesy of Genes Lava Rock Expeditions, Tanzania

How I Help My Children Go To Bed

Frustrated with getting your kids to bed?

The children are finally in bed – it only takes us an hour of asking them to right? Then they need about 5 wees, decide they are hungry and want to discuss the meaning of life.

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How about creating such a wonderful nighttime haven for them that they jump into bed willingly and soon after fall asleep?

Just imagine having an evening where you weren’t being constantly called back upstairs.

Do you feel confident at bedtime?

I know very few parents with this wonderful bedtime routine, largely because when I speak to them they are tired and also distracted at this time of night. Over time they have lost confidence that it can be achieved, and the kids really know it! With a little consistency, perserverance and belief we can create a soothing and calm bedtime that we all look forward to with lasting positive memories.

How I Help My Children Go to Bed and Sleep

So how can we do this? I’d like to share a ‘How I’ post for bedtime, it’ll be over on my Facebook page as a video after 7pm today.

Jane Tyson

 

 

 

So … What.

So

Where will your flow take you today?

Perhaps you have set an intention to ‘DO something today, you have a schedule, a plan etc.  What if it doesn’t go to plan, doesn’t go the way you want it to?

How about just going with the’flow’ and reminding yourself to just ‘BE’ today.

BE curious.  Move into not knowing what is coming next.  Get excited.

Put your finger to your nose and simply take a breath.

PAUSE and BE.

BE with the feeling but avoid BEcoming the feeling. Allow the feeling to be with you, maybe it’s alongside you, above you, below you, to the right or left. but it’s not you.

Let the flow take you, have no expectations, simply allow it to BE so.

So.  What.

#frustrationexpert (2)

This is a photo of my daughter aged 8 in 2015 climbing Mount Meru in Tanzania, it was a 3 day trek stopping off at huts along the way. It was a big climb, she was one of the youngest to have ever climbed it, we went with the flow. There was a heck of a lot of complaining along the way.

Jane x 

 

#contentedparenting

Smile and Grunt

 Can we learn to love Tech?

Do you have a morning routine to check in with yourself?

The holidays are here and I continue to be an early riser which has been a perfect way to create a longer meditation habit, which actually gives me more time across the day.   Each morning,  I sit and meditate for 40 to 60 minutes,  after which I often write out my morning pages and then enjoy some yoga, qi gong, swim or a run, which I shorten when I’m back on the school run. As the kids have got older they sleep in more and it’s easier to do this. When they were little I shortened this early morning start.  I wrote this a while back – Me before Mum.

Maybe you have something that gets you physically ad mentally ready for the day, maybe it’s sleep!

How can we create connection across the day when they are so distracted?

I’m very grateful to have a break from my teaching routine and enjoy lazy days with my children. However, these days when we are home, they seem more glued to their screens than ever before. Across the day we create a little balance and routine – I find the key is to make sure we all properly say good morning with eye contact maybe a kiss and hug!, share a smile, eat together at random times across the day,  and grunt a few loving words such as ‘I love you when would be a good time to clear a pathway in your room?’ We do have an agile routine pinned to the fridge to remind us all to create balance across the day! You might like a free copy.

grunt

Can we Love Tech?

Recently I learned that no matter how bendy, flexible, fit, fantastic you feel etc, a true yogi is one who maintains an open heart throughout the ups and down in life.

Each morning,before I meditate,  I set an intention ‘to open and expand my heart to the vibration of love’.

That is all, it is enough.

It’s not the tech I dislike it’s the way it pulls my kids away from being present to other wonders, so I’m just learning to ‘Be’ with it as it is.

It gives me some time to also explore Taoism and learn more about QiGong and Tai Chi which in turn allows me to avoid stripping wallpaper.

I’ve got a free e-book with tips for surviving the summer holidays,  email me jane@janetysonco.uk and I’ll send you a copy.

You might also enjoy learning some of my meditation tips on the 7th September. 

Grunt, Smile, Love.

Jane x

Frustration Expert

Feeling Frustrated? Get Present

Someone or Something Frustrating You?

Repeat this 5 times –

‘The Point of Power is Always in the Present Moment’ 
I love this and it’s something I say to myself as a ‘reminder’ when something is taking me away from being present.  Just saying it has a calming effect.
Extracted from one of my favourite books ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay.
This photo is my daughter fully present winning a race when we were in Tanzania! Exercise is a great way to get ‘present’ too.
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#frustrationexpert #contentedparenting

Dunno, Nothing, Can’t Remember.

Can we teach our kids to do happiness?

Each day, when the children leave my class, I ask them to think of 3 things that made them happy. From experience, parents often tell me that when they ask their child what they’ve done quite often the reply is ‘nothing, ‘dunno’ can’t remember’

What 3 things have made you HAPPY today? Even if you can’t think of anything you are still creating an upward happy spiral and sending out the good hormones in your brain!

#frustrationexpert

Ask your kids at the dinner table later, during bathtime or maybe at bedtime and share with them too. You might say ‘you made me me feel happy, the sun shone, I saw a bird flying, a flower blew in the breeze’

You might enjoy keeping a family happyness journal, writing post its or making a Happy Families art gallery!

If they really struggle to think of happy things that’s OK don’t push it, just keep modelling how to. And if they are ‘negative’ allow them to be so, it’s still positive that they are talking to you. Simply acknowledge their feelings ‘yes I can see you are frustrated.. sad… unhappy… give them a space and listening to talk.

Creating this space will allow the happy thoughts to come to the surface when they are ready.

I’m running a Family Workshop in September with AyPee –

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/contented-parenting-tickets-35541728266

#frustrationexpert #parentingrascal

Feeling Frustrated? Listen to the silence

Shhh.

How to find silence in a world so full of noise

My 12 year old son recently said to me ‘Mum one of my favourite times in the school day is when I go to the toilets as it’s always so peaceful and quiet’ He’s got a lot going on in his head, school is busy and he’s finding his way with all the homework.  I’ve shared with him ways he can create some space in his head in class too, instead of rushing to the loo!
If you have questions that you’d like answered, worries on your mind, need clarity, greater focus  – why not allow silence to guide you?

Listen to the sound of silence

When was the last time you listened to the sound of silence?

Why not pause and notice the softness and stillness of the space you are in right now.

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At anytime during the day you can ease into this.

Pause, breathe, gradually quieten your mind and body and give your soul some peace and quiet to allow the silence to ‘source’ creative solutions to the frustrations in your life.

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But there is so much noise everywhere

Yes there are noises, and there is silence and stillness from where they came. Be curious, playful and explore the silence all around you in the many layers it presents to you. Listen to the birds and notice the silence in between their songs and become aware of the silence from where the sounds come from.

Is their enlightenment in silence?

Notice the silence now. How often can you become aware of it today?
If you have ‘things’ on your mind and questions you’d like answers too, ask them and in the silence let the answers arrive when they are ready to. You may find enlightenment.

foxglove

Listen to this silent song for 4 minutes the composer claimed it was his favourite piece of work –  4’33’

Jane x