Category Archives: play

Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy

A Random Diablog

Laughter, Play and Poetry

I am an IamBic Master Practitioner –  IamBe was the goddess of Laughter, Play and Rhyme,  I’ve written about her before here. My Communication and Connection Model is based on these principles with metaphorical flashing!  For may years I have explored the benefits of  ‘play’ in both little and big people and most mornings I set an intention to be playful and to not sweat the small stuff.

This week, I found a vintage red suitcase in a skip, I’m often on the look out for them,  it was a bit rusty and tired but it was perfect for my random lifestyle.  Inside were a few vintage books including  ‘Indoor & Community Games‘ by Sid G Hedges 1943, an exciting find (do I need to get out more?)

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Connection & Communication Through Play

Since the introduction of the PS4 games console in the house, there has been a lot of falling out over fair usage, screen time – ‘it’s so unfair our friends get to play on it all night’ and when they do come off there’s noticeable irritability and stress and this coupled with a hormonal pre-teen. Later today, when my husband returns we are having our weekly family meeting about the best way forward with these frustrations.

The kids and I have been having a lot of fun reading the book and playing some of the simple games. They have relaxed and connection and communication has been restored. They’ve just walked to Sainsburys together too, hopefully they will sustain this friendship on their adventure and not part company in the frozen ailse.

Enjoy these Games 

Here are a couple of the simple games we’ve explored and enjoyed –

Giant Sneeze 

Split into 3 teams and appoint these 3 names – Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy
Count to 3 and then call out the name assigned to the person or team in unison and loudly to create a giant sneeze!

Laughing Game – Rollicking Fun! 

‘Someone of merry disposition is chosen to lead the game and sits in the middle of the room. He tosses up a handkerchief and immediately breaks into a rollicking laugh. Everyone else must laugh too, and the laughing must continue as long as the handkerchief is in the air. But the instant that it touches the floor every face must become stern again, and anyone who shows even the slightest trace of a smile is compelled to drop out of the game. The handkerchief is then thrown up a fresh and the game goes on until all the players have been disqualified’ 

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I love this smelly old random book, it’s going to continue to be played with.

Jane x

It’s free to join our meet up group, come and play!
See also my Twitter video about this – @JaneTyson

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Lost Connection

A Random Diablog – Family Connection

Cast your thoughts back to your day.

When during the day did you fully engage and connect with your child(ren)?

Just Got To Finish This… 

Like all kids, my kids are busy, they play out with other kids, watch TV, get absorbed in a book or nerf game, or quite often are on their screens for their ‘screen time‘. When they take a break from what they are doing, chances are we are distracted on a screen too or absorbed by a household task, or our minds are elsewhere. The children might strike up a conversation or want to show us something and we often say ‘oh just a sec, just finishing this’ or we listen but our attention isn’t quite there. 

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Then when we are in the zone to sit and talk they aren’t,  the opportunity is lost and they are off distracted too!

Look for Opportunities to Connect

Notice when opportunities to connect offline arise and when they do, stop and be fully present to what they are saying and doing and immerse yourself in the experience.  This could be a valuable moment for you to connect together and it’s on their time – even better that the conversation starts with them.

Why Connection is Important

When we connect to ourselves, we are in the right space to connect to others.  I wrote about this earlier in the week how can we be when we are so busy doingWe slow down and teach our kids to do the same, and when we connect with them it makes them feel noticed and valued and the mood in the home can change considerably.

We can even tell our children what we are doing.

A Parenting & Kids Model for Behavioural Transformation

You might know a parent who’d like to come along to this rather unique & unusual parenting workshop –

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For a full list of our meet ups click here 
#parentingrascal #RandDialEvent #LWWD

Shrove Tuesday – Do you give a Toss?

What is Shrove Tuesday?

Going through this week’s calendar and getting organised, I note it’s pancake day on Tuesday. I’ve taught the meaning of this to kids over the years in different schools, and remember that the word  shrove is linked to being shriven from sin. In past times there was a call to confession with the pancake bell.

Fasting

Some research suggests that people used up their store cupboard ingredients in the pancakes,  so they were eaten before the 40 fasting period of Lent. Other reading points to the ingredients having pagan symbolism.

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I feel so bad

In my youthful, naive, fresh teaching days I used to talk to the children about giving up things for Lent, ‘so kids what are you going to give up, what sins/wrongs are you committing that need to be put right?’ now I’d say ‘what’s going right for you that you could explore further, what value could you add to others?’

Stop beating yourself up

Giving up things just makes us think of them even more and we might even start to crave them and then feel ‘bad’ when we give in.  I’m rather bored of either feeling good and bad and hearing talk of feeling guilty because I ate this or did that. I’d rather not teach kids to beat themselves up. Let’s teach them about balance.  I wrote about a blog about developing an abundance mindset here.untitled-design-5

How can we ‘add’ more value?

My 10 year old daughter sometimes tells me she’s fat. I’ve been so careful about only celebrating our bodies, I’ve never spoken of going on a diet or asked whether my bum looks big in this.  Yet she’s picking up messages about image from all around – school, the TV, books etc. I ask her what can she do more of that’s good for her, what does she enjoy, what makes her feel good and importantly I need to role model this myself. 

Happy Tossing.

Movement, Mindset and Mindfulness Classes for kids starting on Shrove Tuesday – Movement, Mindfulness & Mindset for Kids

Jane x

 

 

A Bored Book.

A ‘Bored’ Book

How many times a day do your children tell you they are bored?

Maybe you have children who can easily entertain themselves, and spend the day just making, creating and playing, I’d really love to hear from you for this idea.

I notice that if kids are on their computers, tablets, phones, PS4s etc they never seem to tire.  It’s when they come off them that they find it hard to transition from this over stimulated time to a space where they now have to do something ‘boring’ instead.

Screens produce an experience we can’t recreate

I read once that when we are on our screens, certain chemicals are released – maybe it was dopamine or seratonin – that can’t be recreated in the brain at the same levels once we come off.  For example, as a teacher, I cannot replicate the multisensory stimulation that a screen induces, hence children don’t always listen so well, sit still, retain information and they get bored quicker, however if I put on a YouTube clip explaining the same thing, they are all eyes, ears and interest for a long time, it is their language.

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This photo was taken when we were in Africa. These kids played and collaborated endlessly with the tyre, they had no screens.

What do kids do when they aren’t on screens?

My son had a friend over, they’d had some screen time together and the hour timer was up, so after a few reminders they came off and didn’t know what to do. They asked to go back on again and we said no that they could go and find something else. This  quite often means they go round the friend’s house to play on the screens there instead.

It took them about 10 minutes to transition to outdoor play and they soon found themselves engaged in a nerf gun war, followed by fire building with Paul in the garden. With the screens off, they had to find something to do, it’s so easy though sometimes to just let them go back on again and loose track of time. They might mope about inbetween waiting for their next fix.  Meanwhile, we also bury our faces in Facebook, Twitter, Gmail etc, driven to distraction.

Why are we so Bored?

We know it’s good to be bored, creativity often stems from boredom and head space. Why though are we so bored? Some say we are over-stimulated, the more we have the more we need and it’s hard to put up with the slow stuff in between. Are you reading this whilst doing or thinking about other things at the same time?  Or maybe it’s too long and boring to even read. Our kids are no different.

A ‘bored’ book for kids written by kids.

I’d like to create an e-book of ideas for kids of things to do when they aren’t on their screens. I’d love your children to contribute to this please, and if they are willing to, could you share their ideas in the comments below with an image if possible of the activity.  I’ll obviously give them a credit.  All ages welcome.

Things to do that are free, with little or no adult intervention.  I wonder if we they can come up with 3 or more boring ideas?

Jane x

janetyson.co.uk

What did you have for lunch, who did you play with?

Did you eat all your peas and carrots…

Would you like your child to speak to you more and share their feelings openly and freely with you without asking? Read on as this will help.

Scenario 1 – you greet your child after a busy day and ask them all about it – who they played with, what they had for lunch, did they eat all their peas and carrots, what they did in maths, have they got homework and so. You ask them question after question (some parents I spoke to say they question like this because they feel they ‘ought’ to).

Scenario 2– your child is playing with for example their lego, you go over to join in and begin to take over. Maybe you want the bricks to match, the windows aren’t in the right place, and the door opens the wrong way.  You start to question and probe and join in with their play in a rather controlling way.  The child soon looses interest, walks off and you start to worry about their lack of commitment and connection!

Scenario 3 – your teen is in their room, the door is closed they are on their screen, you haven’t had a conversation in a while.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

Let’s Rewind the Scenes

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How could you just enjoy being ‘alongside’ them?

‘There once was a wise man who said nothing’

How about you just sit there with them, in the moment and just be and not actually do anything. That’s right just be quiet. Breathe, sit and be with them. It might be hard not to talk and take over – so practice. They’ve been over-stimulated, over stretched and haven’t stopped all day, their brains are full!  Allow them a break.  It’s OK to be quiet, allow yourself to be quiet too.

Reframe the situation, what can we learn from the child, what are they teaching us about being in the moment? Notice them.

Soon, they will start to enjoy your peaceful presence and invite you into their space and start to engage with you.  You may even find they start to guide you with what to do, ask you questions and  even tell you things that are on their mind because you have allowed them some space and time alongside you, they feel free and safe to express themselves.   Resist asking them too much and taking over, enjoy being childlike with them for a while. With older children you may say something like I’m just going to come and sit with you for a while, so you watch them on their screen for 10 minutes or so, again you don’t need to speak you are just alongside them, see what happens you will be surprised.

Little and often.

To a Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E (1)

IamBe Approach

Are you wanting a little guidance and support to help you to communicate and connect within your family? I am an IamBe Master Practitioner, more details about what I do are over on my Linked-In page here which includes a full list of workshops including our ‘BE SAY DO HAVE’ Ⓒ Contented Parenting model here.

Jane Tyson x

Whilst at University studying Education and Child Psychology,  I volunteered with various ‘play’ schemes and trained as a ‘Play Leader’ alongside children in mainstream and special educational need settings from 4 to 18. These experiences led me into Primary School teaching and yoga and mindfulness for families.  My stepmother and two step sisters are both play therapists, so I’ve been pretty immersed and passionate about play for 25 years, well 45.  

Core Process – Exploring Play.

Family Connection – Too Busy To Read?

How to Connect with Children by Reading Mindlessly

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Ever picked up a book and just read it to your child without having a clue what you’ve just said because you’ve got so much else on your mind and you were distracted?

Reading together is a wonderful way to spend time together and to connect as a parent whatever the child’s age.  Yet not always easy to do when we are busy running around, shuttling school runs, working, shopping, cleaning etc.

Below I share a simple way we can connect to ourselves, slow down and become more present to ourselves before reading.

Disconnect to Reconnect – Connection to Self

A simple breathing exercise to help you centre in less than 2 minutes. First, switch off your phone, TV and other distractions and park the housework.
Sit up straight or even better stand – take 3 nice deep belly breaths – put your hands on your belly to feel them – they will be a continuous in and out. Notice now how you feel and what state this has created in you, if you need more then there is no rule!  Model what you are doing to your family, it’s up to them if they want to join in you are just sharing a relaxation technique with them.
Hopefully you feel calmer, more present, grounded and connected to yourself, and in this state you are in a great space to connect with your child – so how about now reading a book together?
Mindful Reading
Again choose a quiet place to do this with no distractions for either of you. Use a steady, understandable pace where you notice each word and are aware of the whole experience and being with them. If they are reading too, listen and notice the spoken words, their voice, the spaces between the words, the pauses,  be present with your child. 
As a teacher I so often speak to parents about teaching children to read. Reading is expressive, fun, playful and connecting, if your child doesn’t know the words they don’t need to struggle, it needn’t be a chore. Read it with them, enjoy the story together. They are far more likely to want to read with you if they aren’t feeling stressed or pressured to do so and it’s a playful and enjoyable time.  Let them work out the unfamiliar words, help them to relax no need to pounce impatiently. If every word is a struggle then read it together first of all and choose an easier book!
See how they respond to this experience, notice the effect it has on them.
 If you are reading with a fluent independent reader, it’s still great for them to share what they are reading, or you can simply just read alongside them with your own book and enjoy this reading time together.
Make it even more playful! 
To make this a really playful experience with younger children, why not read the book back to front, upside down, and find other playful ways to connect when you are in this space together. Enjoy reading together, make it fun.
Jane x