Category Archives: harmony

What did you have for lunch, who did you play with?

Did you eat all your peas and carrots…

Would you like your child to speak to you more and share their feelings openly and freely with you without asking? Read on as this will help.

Scenario 1 – you greet your child after a busy day and ask them all about it – who they played with, what they had for lunch, did they eat all their peas and carrots, what they did in maths, have they got homework and so. You ask them question after question (some parents I spoke to say they question like this because they feel they ‘ought’ to).

Scenario 2– your child is playing with for example their lego, you go over to join in and begin to take over. Maybe you want the bricks to match, the windows aren’t in the right place, and the door opens the wrong way.  You start to question and probe and join in with their play in a rather controlling way.  The child soon looses interest, walks off and you start to worry about their lack of commitment and connection!

Scenario 3 – your teen is in their room, the door is closed they are on their screen, you haven’t had a conversation in a while.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

Let’s Rewind the Scenes

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How could you just enjoy being ‘alongside’ them?

‘There once was a wise man who said nothing’

How about you just sit there with them, in the moment and just be and not actually do anything. That’s right just be quiet. Breathe, sit and be with them. It might be hard not to talk and take over – so practice. They’ve been over-stimulated, over stretched and haven’t stopped all day, their brains are full!  Allow them a break.  It’s OK to be quiet, allow yourself to be quiet too.

Reframe the situation, what can we learn from the child, what are they teaching us about being in the moment? Notice them.

Soon, they will start to enjoy your peaceful presence and invite you into their space and start to engage with you.  You may even find they start to guide you with what to do, ask you questions and  even tell you things that are on their mind because you have allowed them some space and time alongside you, they feel free and safe to express themselves.   Resist asking them too much and taking over, enjoy being childlike with them for a while. With older children you may say something like I’m just going to come and sit with you for a while, so you watch them on their screen for 10 minutes or so, again you don’t need to speak you are just alongside them, see what happens you will be surprised.

Little and often.

To a Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E (1)

IamBe Approach

Are you wanting a little guidance and support to help you to communicate and connect within your family? I am an IamBe Master Practitioner, more details about what I do are over on my Linked-In page here which includes a full list of workshops including our ‘BE SAY DO HAVE’ Ⓒ Contented Parenting model here.

Jane Tyson x

Whilst at University studying Education and Child Psychology,  I volunteered with various ‘play’ schemes and trained as a ‘Play Leader’ alongside children in mainstream and special educational need settings from 4 to 18. These experiences led me into Primary School teaching and yoga and mindfulness for families.  My stepmother and two step sisters are both play therapists, so I’ve been pretty immersed and passionate about play for 25 years, well 45.  

Core Process – Exploring Play.

Oods, Harmony and Miracles – 2017 is your time

Are you Speaking into the Universe’s Listening?

What are you ready to create for 2017 –  are your intentions clear?

I’ve a little red book containing quotes, affirmations and intentions  and I’m conjuring up some more ready for 2017.unnamed

Reading it through and reflecting, I realise why some of the things came to be and also why some of them haven’t – my language wasn’t clear, the intention not confident, belief weak,  and I wasn’t speaking into the Universe’s listening or my own effectively, also what was the big reason?

It’s also fascinating how some  intentions came to pass a few years on and not the year of writing, again largely because I didn’t specify it and there wasn’t clarity and reason.

 

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One of my intentions is to spend 4 or more hours each week at the allotment – always a space for contemplation and meditation. To connect with my Ood and to remind others to do the same (see next post on Ood) click here for my Allotment Rascal Page

I’d also written down a meditation from Jack Canfield’s book – The Key to Living The Law of Attraction (2011). He suggests spending time each day in quiet contemplation, prayer or meditation and this was his simple invocation –

“…in seeking to transform our lives. We ask for guidance and clarity.
We ask that we find our purpose, our mission in life. We ask for divine inspiration.
We ask to be of service.
We ask for help in releasing any old negative or limiting thought patterns.
We ask that our thoughts and actions unfold for the greater good of all people.
We ask that miracles unfold not only in our own life’s but in the lives of others
We are thankful
We ask for peace
We ask for harmony
We ask to make a difference in the world.

There is an inner alchemy that takes place through prayer and meditation. These are the transformational processes that will change you on a cellular level.  They will literally change your brain wave patterns”

It’s good to be re-minded  as many of these words have also been poignant in 2016.

So a Happy New Year to you, may your spells create harmony , miracles and ood.   Where will you start in 2017?

If you believe,  you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.
Matthew 21:22

Jane
Keep On Playing

Join us at one of our Meet Ups in 2017 – Random Dialogues

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