Category Archives: family connection

What Will You Settle On Today?

What will you settle on today?

Some people love being preoccupied with thoughts.

Thoughts provide them with constant entertainment, interaction, they believe thinking is important.

They are addicted to distraction and fearful of boredom, inner silence, or feeling alone without them.

Our minds are often likened to busy monkeys leaping from tree to tree or butterflies fluttering from flower to flower.

#frustrationexpert (2)

We are good at multitasking, reacting, and scanning for the pleasant, unpleasant or neutral and choosing all the time between them.

Life is fast paced, work is busy, families are doing, schools are cramming…

So what can we settle on today to stabilise our mind and respond more to situations?

How can we allow the butterfly to settle, the monkey to still?

Jane Tyson

Advertisements

Frustrated by Family Mealtimes?

  • Do you find yourself cooking different meals for everyone?
  • Buying more convenience food because it is?
  • Busy and out of balance with life, work and family?
  • Struggling for ideas for things to cook that you’ll all enjoy?

Any of this sound familiar?

Below are some ideas for simple family meals created by my children, I’d love about your favourites and I’ll add them below.

A ‘How I’ Blog – How I Keep Sane at Mealtimes

In the past few months my family food choices have gone down hill, I returned to teaching 3 days a week, so went down the more convenience food route, plus the other days I was off the kids had activities early evening which also disrupted eating.

We all like different Meals 

My family loves food and eats well – just not the same as each other. One of my children doesn’t like meat so much, the other dislikes sauces and my husband doesn’t eat fish or chicken.  I wrote this blog earlier in the year about how eating together improves connection, here, we were eating together just not great food!

Not only have we been filling up on more processesed, salty and unheathy food, it’s costing money.

So what to do, how to get back into a good eating habits?

The holidays and a change in routine have brought some much needed time to create and reflect. With fresh inspiration this is my new plan and I’m writing it down, maybe it will give you some ideas too –

  • Sit down as a family and write down 5 of your favourite home cooked meal choices each.
  • See if any of them correlate – live in hope.
  • Ask them which days they feel it would be good to eat their chosen meal(s).
  • From the 20 or so meals, choose several and draw up a weekly or fortnightly meal plan to pin on fridge or door
  • Create a shopping list from this plan – ask the kids to do this with you.
  • Find out which days they would like to be involved with cooking one or two meals each week.  Mine are particulary keen to make pizzas.
  • Which days would they like to come to the supermarket to help gather the ingredients (they do love a trip as they can stare at the toys too). When they were little they helped write the lists and loved running off to find things. Whilst it’ a pain to take them sometimes and ends up costing more, it is a good time together as well with them.
  • If they don’t like the meal chosen on the weekly plan, what would they prefer and would they like to prepare it the day before with you or on the day?
  • What parts of their favourite meals could we look to grow on the allotment, in the garden, in a pot etc?

Getting the Kids Involved 

pizza 2pizzaMy 10 year old daughter was bored today, so we bought ingredients this morning to make pizza and she taught herself to make one following a recipe online. Not sure she could fit any more olives on. I note the processed ham. I reckon she could make this when she gets in from school on one of the days I’m working.  I’ve taught my 12 year old son Luke to hoover the house this week and fold the ironing. My child labour plan is coming on nicely.

MealTime Ideas

Below are some really simple healthy-ish meals the children chose,  which can easily be adapted plus I’ve added some vegetarian ideas too –

spaghetti bolognaise (of course) meat, I cook a lovely lentil one which they turn their noses up at – sweat onions, chopped celery and carrots for about 10 mins in some chopped bacon if you have it, add mince and brown, top with about 200ml stock, tin toms or fresh ones and cook for about an hour on low.  Serve with pasta, top with grated cheese and parsley.   For the veggie version use all the same ingredients except cook the brown or red lentils in a separate pan, or buy them ready cooked and add to the veg, tomatoes and stock.

cod in lemon and parsley – season fresh cod, fry cod in butter and oil until browned. Take off and squeeze a lemon into the pan, pour over fish and sprinkle on parsley  serve with new pots, rice etc

chicken soup – they just love this – leftover roast chicken (again easy to cook and use up over a few days)  or cook some breasts and chop and put to one side.  Sweat and soften a variety of veg eg carrots, celery, onion, courgettes for 10 mins in butter. Add a litre of stock (I tend to buy organic stock or sometimes make my own in the slow cooker) and some noodles. Once the noodles are cooked add the leftover chicken and heat through for 2 minutes, serve with parsley and crusty bread.  For a vegetarian version try using borlotti beans and pasta – minestrone style.

pulled pork rolls with apple sauce – put a loin of pork in the slow cooker, season with salt and pepper, put on low and cook all day. Serve in white rolls with apple sauce or as a nice roast with some potatoes and veg.

homemade pizza – there are various recipes to make the dough or can use pitta bread, or flat tortillas. Once made cover with tomato puree or thin layer of chopped toms and choice of toppings, then bake in oven for 7 to 10 mins if using pitta or 20 mins if the fresh dough version.  Ellie has chosen cheese, olives, ham, anchovies. Luke wants pepperoni and chillis and is excited about making these.

chicken (or other meat or haloumi cheese) kebabs – fresh cubed chicken threaded onto skewers, could be alternated with veg such as courgette, onion and pepper. Choose a topping or marinade in the day with for example lemon and yoghurt, or pesto, or olive oil with herbs, whatever your kids choose and like. Grill for 15 minutes turning frequently. Serve with salad or veg, rice or potatoes etc.

Friends also shared their favourite meals –

From Lucia Knight – Thank you Jane, We love make your own tacos with pre-made & frozen chilli, wraps and a load of small bits and pieces from the fridge(peppers, sweetcorn, cucumber & grated cheese or anything you fancy). Great for play dates as it can all be made in as little as it takes to heat up the chilli and gives fussy eaters some choice.

Thanks Mark love to try this Paella too – Mark Beresford Chicken thighs chorizo and red peppers. All fried in a large pan. Add chilli flakes. Simmer with sone stock. Add paella rice. Simmer. Eat. Great quick and easy meal. Freezes too.

Would love to hear about your favourite family recipes, please do comment or pm me x

I asked friends to comment on their meal times –

Belinda allowed me to share this, her child has an autistic spectrum disorder,  there is humour to her writing and it puts my own mealtime gripes in perspective, thank you x

‘Jake vomits if a smell is unpleasant to him,  which makes mealtimes interesting. There are many food smells he struggles to tolerate ( even if we are eating them) and it’s difficult to vary his diet as he prefers to eat the same thing daily: wraps mashed avocado pepper cucumber cocktail sausages from Tescos and tomato
Jake also struggles with people eating with their mouths open … a problem every Sunday when we have my mother in law with dementia for dinner. I have to have a seating plan!
Jake eats very quickly even after 10 years of me working in slowing him down!
Poppy is vegetarian
I try not to eat gluten
Jez eats anything except fish!
We do sit down and eat together daily, some days with greater success than others.
Jake is trying new foods having grown them in his veg patch .. courgette being the latest. This is a fantastic step forwards x

Julie writes – I caught Luke feeding Ella spoonfuls of ketchup the other day and Ella is digging into her third pizza of week. Homemade but still…

Come Play on the 23rd in Guildford 

Join me for a play on the 23rd September, early bird applies until the 1st September.  https://www.eventbrite.com/e/exploring-play-tickets-35531141601

JaneTyson.co.uk

So … What.

So

Where will your flow take you today?

Perhaps you have set an intention to ‘DO something today, you have a schedule, a plan etc.  What if it doesn’t go to plan, doesn’t go the way you want it to?

How about just going with the’flow’ and reminding yourself to just ‘BE’ today.

BE curious.  Move into not knowing what is coming next.  Get excited.

Put your finger to your nose and simply take a breath.

PAUSE and BE.

BE with the feeling but avoid BEcoming the feeling. Allow the feeling to be with you, maybe it’s alongside you, above you, below you, to the right or left. but it’s not you.

Let the flow take you, have no expectations, simply allow it to BE so.

So.  What.

#frustrationexpert (2)

This is a photo of my daughter aged 8 in 2015 climbing Mount Meru in Tanzania, it was a 3 day trek stopping off at huts along the way. It was a big climb, she was one of the youngest to have ever climbed it, we went with the flow. There was a heck of a lot of complaining along the way.

Jane x 

 

#contentedparenting

Smile and Grunt

 Can we learn to love Tech?

Do you have a morning routine to check in with yourself?

The holidays are here and I continue to be an early riser which has been a perfect way to create a longer meditation habit, which actually gives me more time across the day.   Each morning,  I sit and meditate for 40 to 60 minutes,  after which I often write out my morning pages and then enjoy some yoga, qi gong, swim or a run, which I shorten when I’m back on the school run. As the kids have got older they sleep in more and it’s easier to do this. When they were little I shortened this early morning start.  I wrote this a while back – Me before Mum.

Maybe you have something that gets you physically ad mentally ready for the day, maybe it’s sleep!

How can we create connection across the day when they are so distracted?

I’m very grateful to have a break from my teaching routine and enjoy lazy days with my children. However, these days when we are home, they seem more glued to their screens than ever before. Across the day we create a little balance and routine – I find the key is to make sure we all properly say good morning with eye contact maybe a kiss and hug!, share a smile, eat together at random times across the day,  and grunt a few loving words such as ‘I love you when would be a good time to clear a pathway in your room?’ We do have an agile routine pinned to the fridge to remind us all to create balance across the day! You might like a free copy.

grunt

Can we Love Tech?

Recently I learned that no matter how bendy, flexible, fit, fantastic you feel etc, a true yogi is one who maintains an open heart throughout the ups and down in life.

Each morning,before I meditate,  I set an intention ‘to open and expand my heart to the vibration of love’.

That is all, it is enough.

It’s not the tech I dislike it’s the way it pulls my kids away from being present to other wonders, so I’m just learning to ‘Be’ with it as it is.

It gives me some time to also explore Taoism and learn more about QiGong and Tai Chi which in turn allows me to avoid stripping wallpaper.

I’ve got a free e-book with tips for surviving the summer holidays,  email me jane@janetysonco.uk and I’ll send you a copy.

You might also enjoy learning some of my meditation tips on the 7th September. 

Grunt, Smile, Love.

Jane x

Frustration Expert

Feeling Frustrated? Get Present

Someone or Something Frustrating You?

Repeat this 5 times –

‘The Point of Power is Always in the Present Moment’ 
I love this and it’s something I say to myself as a ‘reminder’ when something is taking me away from being present.  Just saying it has a calming effect.
Extracted from one of my favourite books ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay.
This photo is my daughter fully present winning a race when we were in Tanzania! Exercise is a great way to get ‘present’ too.
The point of power is always in the present momentLouise Hay (1).jpg
#frustrationexpert #contentedparenting

Your children can learn simple ways to be calm, connected and emotionally balanced

Your children can learn simple ways to be calm, connected and emotionally balanced. It is very easy to do.

The State We Are In 

Recently I visited a school and Brownie Pack.  I shared ideas with the children of ways to create changes of ‘state’ in our minds and bodies and how we get in a state in the first place!

Wired Or Tired?

I taught them how to create more energy and enthusiasm when they feel tired and ways to be calmer when they feel wired.

untitled-design-1

I was able to demonstrate how self-talk influenced their results. Words they say to themselves influence how they feel and how their body  also has it’s own language which influences them both negatively and positively.

Give Me Five 

These are some of the techniques I shared with the teachers and children in school today which you might also enjoy at home. It takes just 5 minutes here and there…

Just Listen Sitting with legs crossed, Close your eyes or gaze at a spot on the floor and just listen to the sounds in our bodies then take this listening to sounds which are nearby and outside.

earSome of the children sat quietly and others found it hard to be still and quiet,  with regular practice children notice more sounds and sit listening for longer periods of time. It’s also good to write down the sounds and see over time how many more can be added to the list.

Walking Tall –walk tall with smiles on your face. When we meet each other, stop, breath and smile.

This activity was fun for the children and helped them to enjoy and notice each other more and gain awareness of what was going on around them in the present moment. They got ‘present’.

Body Tapping – tap your bodies from head to toe and then use an imaginary sponge to rub your arms, backs, tummies, legs and feet and noticed how your bodies tingle afterwards. Notice how this improves your circulation, raises your energy levels and wakes you up.
This is a great exercise to do in the mornings.

Movement – I weaved in a yoga story too with 5 simple moves, I’ve written about ways to implement yoga into family life before here

Square breathing – I drew a square on the board, at home I draw a pretend square on my children’s backs, and then I traced along the square with my finger and as I did this we breathed in slowly for 4 and out for 4, this can be repeated for as long as you like, there are no rules.

After each exercise I asked the children and teachers to notice how they feel. Some said they felt calmer, relaxed and sleepy whilst some said they didn’t feel any different. There are no wrong or right answers, it was for them simply to bring awareness to the experiences.

So you probably now realise how simple it is for your children to learn how to be calm, connected and emotionally balanced and just how easy it is to do. And when we do these activities alongside them we create this in ourselves too.

How I Help Adults & Children Relax

I support schools, businesses, families, children, groups and individuals who are feeling frustrated. I am presenting a talk entitled ‘How I Help Adults and Children Relax’ on the 6th June in Guildford details here,  a Contented Parenting workshop for frustrated parents in September details here  a Mindfulness For All session here and co presenting with AyPee a Social Media support session for people frustrated with Social Media  in September.

JaneTyson.co.uk

 

Untitled design (6)

 

Remote Controlled Connection

How our Children can teach Us to Relax

Yesterday my son was talking to me (well at me), we were on our way to karate and he was really excited about moving up a level to ‘spar‘ and spent a looooong time telling me all about it.   I was distracted, my mind was elsewhere on work and actually hands up, I was a little bored of listening!

My Boy-Man Brought Me Home

I took a breath and acknowledged to myself that I wasn’t with him and set an intention to BE present and enjoy his company, despite the uninsparring conversation.

I parked the car,  looked at him and checked in to where we both were,  I breathed with him and tilted my head to match his tilt, I listened to his words and brought myself to the present moment and engaged more with his  excitement and enthusiasm, I noticed my 12 year old boy-man.  I became present to BEing  with him, I sensed his energy and he bought me home again, we relaxed together, his conversation slowed and he noticed me too.

JaneTyson.co.uk

Remote Controlled Connection

Tonight he has been teaching me how to play a PS4 game called OverWatch and again I was rather distracted and keen to get on with making tea! I once again connected with him and enjoyed his joy at spending time with me, and just how excited he was to teach me how to be in his virtual world and once more guide me out of mine.

Come learn how we use our BE SAY DO HAVE Ⓒ model and join in the conversation –

ContentedParenting