Category Archives: contented parenting

Glugs Wine, Listens to Silence

Are you Tuned in?

Just imagine being together as a family and really listening to each other, responding, and emotionally tuning in. Can you hand on heart say you do this, that nobody is distracted by anything else going on? You are truly present and in the moment… ah nice.  Then the kids have a disagreement, it escalates, and it all goes horribly wrong, (keeping it real) and it does, let’s face it.  What do you do in the eye of the storm – mum or dad in the middle?  Is their argument a result of unresolved conflict,which the kids are too upset about and maybe too immature to let go of.  Perhaps, they haven’t had a space to talk about their upset or be listened to?  Does it ever feel just a little like groundhog day?

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Decline in Listening Skills 

Research has found a significant decrease in children’s listening skills over the past decade,  can you guess why? I wonder too if this doesn’t apply to adults and sitting together as a family.  I’ve put together a ‘listening’ programme which  I’m sharing with the children and colleagues  I teach alongside  in school.

Meanwhile, parent(s) finishes meal and glugs more wine and enjoys listening to silence, and tunes out. Silent is listen rearranged.

What do you DO after a family UPSET, how does it leave you feeling and what’s that like?

What do you Need?

How do we create time for family connection, spaces to talk to one another and be heard?

Today, just become AWARE of the above.  And Pause. (a previous blog about Pausing) .  I have a photo of an owl, which reminds me to  listen, notice and be wise. Often, I think of the owl when I have a quiet time or meditate. Perhaps imagery will help you too?

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I’ll share listening ideas on my social media page this week. @FrustrationExpert

I hear you

So right now what do you need? What can make family life calmer?

Each month, I’m  creating a regular morning of family connection which will respond to your needs and those of your  family, it will be ‘agile’ and ‘flexible’ and at the moment in Guildford, venue tbc. I hear you.

What do you like best?

What could help you to disconnect from all the busyness of life, to be more present and bonded as a family? Have a read of this link here  and see what you like best about the mornings. Come along with your children to learn some of these simple skills and take them away to use with your family between sessions. You will feel more relaxed, more present to listen and this will filter across family life. Plus they’ll be ongoing support for you between meet ups. If your children prefer not to join you then come by yourself, as I’ll share ideas for you to use at home. 

Seeking Open Hearts & Curious Minds

Please do share this with any family you think would benefit from joining us. I’ve not specified ages, just a willingness to give it a go with an open heart and curious mind.

Jane x

#frustrationexpert

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‘Miss, The Elephants’

Ladybird Ladybird 

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‘Please put that back where you found it,  hurry up and get back into line,’ words shouted to a 6 year old child in a school I was teaching in a while ago. The little girl had a ladybird in the palm of her hand and was showing it to a friend.  She set the ladybird free and lined up in the straight line with all the other children.

‘Miss, the elephant’ 

A teaching mentor once advised me ‘Don’t be the teacher who misses the elephant walking past the classroom’

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When I was teaching in Tanzania, we often had monkeys visiting the classroom, no matter how many times they came in to steal crumbs from the floor the kids got distracted and excited. At the time, I was also studying to ‘BE’ a mindfulness teacher and completing a yoga teaching course, so despite feeling irritated,  I reminded myself to be present with the experience, have a 10431412_10152530791344789_4232260385897800258_obeginners mind with the visits and to see them through the children’s fresh curious eyes!

The children also used to love the large birds that perched on the telephone wires outside and sometimes we’d all just stand by the windows watching them. We’d find out what they were called, researching the photos in our small collection of bird spotting books and of course if the electricity and internet were working we’d use google.

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Lessons From the Ladybird

After the ladybird was set free,  I went back to class to tell my children about it and found out what they knew about them.  We looked at photos online of  different ladybirds, found out where they lived,  counted the different spots and introduced the word symmetry, little children love big words and there’s so many avenues still to explore. We added this learning to the slug, snails and power ranger interest zone.

Monkey Minds

Often I talk with the children about their busy monkey minds, and teach them ways to settle and calm ourselves, largely because I ‘need’ them to be quiet on the carpet.  Kids are naturally curious, playful and present, are we teaching them to be busy, distracted and stressed?

I Missed the Elephant

Whilst typing this I forgot to pay attention, the birds have been singing outside all the while and I didn’t notice –  I missed the elephant.

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Seize the day.

A PLAYce to BE

I’m facilitating a PLAYce to BE You on the 14th October at Clandon Wood near Guildford in Surrey. You might like to join in and notice the beautiful nature reserve with us. Why not come along and take a couple of hours out to just BE. Info here. 

If you would like me to come and talk to your organisation about simple ways to get present, please email me jane@janetyson.co.uk.

#frustrationexpert

What Will You Settle On Today?

What will you settle on today?

Some people love being preoccupied with thoughts.

Thoughts provide them with constant entertainment, interaction, they believe thinking is important.

They are addicted to distraction and fearful of boredom, inner silence, or feeling alone without them.

Our minds are often likened to busy monkeys leaping from tree to tree or butterflies fluttering from flower to flower.

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We are good at multitasking, reacting, and scanning for the pleasant, unpleasant or neutral and choosing all the time between them.

Life is fast paced, work is busy, families are doing, schools are cramming…

So what can we settle on today to stabilise our mind and respond more to situations?

How can we allow the butterfly to settle, the monkey to still?

Jane Tyson

How I Help My Children Go To Bed

Frustrated with getting your kids to bed?

The children are finally in bed – it only takes us an hour of asking them to right? Then they need about 5 wees, decide they are hungry and want to discuss the meaning of life.

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How about creating such a wonderful nighttime haven for them that they jump into bed willingly and soon after fall asleep?

Just imagine having an evening where you weren’t being constantly called back upstairs.

Do you feel confident at bedtime?

I know very few parents with this wonderful bedtime routine, largely because when I speak to them they are tired and also distracted at this time of night. Over time they have lost confidence that it can be achieved, and the kids really know it! With a little consistency, perserverance and belief we can create a soothing and calm bedtime that we all look forward to with lasting positive memories.

How I Help My Children Go to Bed and Sleep

So how can we do this? I’d like to share a ‘How I’ post for bedtime, it’ll be over on my Facebook page as a video after 7pm today.

Jane Tyson

 

 

 

So … What.

So

Where will your flow take you today?

Perhaps you have set an intention to ‘DO something today, you have a schedule, a plan etc.  What if it doesn’t go to plan, doesn’t go the way you want it to?

How about just going with the’flow’ and reminding yourself to just ‘BE’ today.

BE curious.  Move into not knowing what is coming next.  Get excited.

Put your finger to your nose and simply take a breath.

PAUSE and BE.

BE with the feeling but avoid BEcoming the feeling. Allow the feeling to be with you, maybe it’s alongside you, above you, below you, to the right or left. but it’s not you.

Let the flow take you, have no expectations, simply allow it to BE so.

So.  What.

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This is a photo of my daughter aged 8 in 2015 climbing Mount Meru in Tanzania, it was a 3 day trek stopping off at huts along the way. It was a big climb, she was one of the youngest to have ever climbed it, we went with the flow. There was a heck of a lot of complaining along the way.

Jane x 

 

#contentedparenting

Smile and Grunt

 Can we learn to love Tech?

Do you have a morning routine to check in with yourself?

The holidays are here and I continue to be an early riser which has been a perfect way to create a longer meditation habit, which actually gives me more time across the day.   Each morning,  I sit and meditate for 40 to 60 minutes,  after which I often write out my morning pages and then enjoy some yoga, qi gong, swim or a run, which I shorten when I’m back on the school run. As the kids have got older they sleep in more and it’s easier to do this. When they were little I shortened this early morning start.  I wrote this a while back – Me before Mum.

Maybe you have something that gets you physically ad mentally ready for the day, maybe it’s sleep!

How can we create connection across the day when they are so distracted?

I’m very grateful to have a break from my teaching routine and enjoy lazy days with my children. However, these days when we are home, they seem more glued to their screens than ever before. Across the day we create a little balance and routine – I find the key is to make sure we all properly say good morning with eye contact maybe a kiss and hug!, share a smile, eat together at random times across the day,  and grunt a few loving words such as ‘I love you when would be a good time to clear a pathway in your room?’ We do have an agile routine pinned to the fridge to remind us all to create balance across the day! You might like a free copy.

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Can we Love Tech?

Recently I learned that no matter how bendy, flexible, fit, fantastic you feel etc, a true yogi is one who maintains an open heart throughout the ups and down in life.

Each morning,before I meditate,  I set an intention ‘to open and expand my heart to the vibration of love’.

That is all, it is enough.

It’s not the tech I dislike it’s the way it pulls my kids away from being present to other wonders, so I’m just learning to ‘Be’ with it as it is.

It gives me some time to also explore Taoism and learn more about QiGong and Tai Chi which in turn allows me to avoid stripping wallpaper.

I’ve got a free e-book with tips for surviving the summer holidays,  email me jane@janetysonco.uk and I’ll send you a copy.

You might also enjoy learning some of my meditation tips on the 7th September. 

Grunt, Smile, Love.

Jane x

Frustration Expert

Feeling Frustrated? Get Present

Someone or Something Frustrating You?

Repeat this 5 times –

‘The Point of Power is Always in the Present Moment’ 
I love this and it’s something I say to myself as a ‘reminder’ when something is taking me away from being present.  Just saying it has a calming effect.
Extracted from one of my favourite books ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay.
This photo is my daughter fully present winning a race when we were in Tanzania! Exercise is a great way to get ‘present’ too.
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