Category Archives: confidence kids

Glugs Wine, Listens to Silence

Are you Tuned in?

Just imagine being together as a family and really listening to each other, responding, and emotionally tuning in. Can you hand on heart say you do this, that nobody is distracted by anything else going on? You are truly present and in the moment… ah nice.  Then the kids have a disagreement, it escalates, and it all goes horribly wrong, (keeping it real) and it does, let’s face it.  What do you do in the eye of the storm – mum or dad in the middle?  Is their argument a result of unresolved conflict,which the kids are too upset about and maybe too immature to let go of.  Perhaps, they haven’t had a space to talk about their upset or be listened to?  Does it ever feel just a little like groundhog day?

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Decline in Listening Skills 

Research has found a significant decrease in children’s listening skills over the past decade,  can you guess why? I wonder too if this doesn’t apply to adults and sitting together as a family.  I’ve put together a ‘listening’ programme which  I’m sharing with the children and colleagues  I teach alongside  in school.

Meanwhile, parent(s) finishes meal and glugs more wine and enjoys listening to silence, and tunes out. Silent is listen rearranged.

What do you DO after a family UPSET, how does it leave you feeling and what’s that like?

What do you Need?

How do we create time for family connection, spaces to talk to one another and be heard?

Today, just become AWARE of the above.  And Pause. (a previous blog about Pausing) .  I have a photo of an owl, which reminds me to  listen, notice and be wise. Often, I think of the owl when I have a quiet time or meditate. Perhaps imagery will help you too?

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I’ll share listening ideas on my social media page this week. @FrustrationExpert

I hear you

So right now what do you need? What can make family life calmer?

Each month, I’m  creating a regular morning of family connection which will respond to your needs and those of your  family, it will be ‘agile’ and ‘flexible’ and at the moment in Guildford, venue tbc. I hear you.

What do you like best?

What could help you to disconnect from all the busyness of life, to be more present and bonded as a family? Have a read of this link here  and see what you like best about the mornings. Come along with your children to learn some of these simple skills and take them away to use with your family between sessions. You will feel more relaxed, more present to listen and this will filter across family life. Plus they’ll be ongoing support for you between meet ups. If your children prefer not to join you then come by yourself, as I’ll share ideas for you to use at home. 

Seeking Open Hearts & Curious Minds

Please do share this with any family you think would benefit from joining us. I’ve not specified ages, just a willingness to give it a go with an open heart and curious mind.

Jane x

#frustrationexpert

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How I Help My Children Go To Bed

Frustrated with getting your kids to bed?

The children are finally in bed – it only takes us an hour of asking them to right? Then they need about 5 wees, decide they are hungry and want to discuss the meaning of life.

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How about creating such a wonderful nighttime haven for them that they jump into bed willingly and soon after fall asleep?

Just imagine having an evening where you weren’t being constantly called back upstairs.

Do you feel confident at bedtime?

I know very few parents with this wonderful bedtime routine, largely because when I speak to them they are tired and also distracted at this time of night. Over time they have lost confidence that it can be achieved, and the kids really know it! With a little consistency, perserverance and belief we can create a soothing and calm bedtime that we all look forward to with lasting positive memories.

How I Help My Children Go to Bed and Sleep

So how can we do this? I’d like to share a ‘How I’ post for bedtime, it’ll be over on my Facebook page as a video after 7pm today.

Jane Tyson

 

 

 

Remote Controlled Connection

How our Children can teach Us to Relax

Yesterday my son was talking to me (well at me), we were on our way to karate and he was really excited about moving up a level to ‘spar‘ and spent a looooong time telling me all about it.   I was distracted, my mind was elsewhere on work and actually hands up, I was a little bored of listening!

My Boy-Man Brought Me Home

I took a breath and acknowledged to myself that I wasn’t with him and set an intention to BE present and enjoy his company, despite the uninsparring conversation.

I parked the car,  looked at him and checked in to where we both were,  I breathed with him and tilted my head to match his tilt, I listened to his words and brought myself to the present moment and engaged more with his  excitement and enthusiasm, I noticed my 12 year old boy-man.  I became present to BEing  with him, I sensed his energy and he bought me home again, we relaxed together, his conversation slowed and he noticed me too.

JaneTyson.co.uk

Remote Controlled Connection

Tonight he has been teaching me how to play a PS4 game called OverWatch and again I was rather distracted and keen to get on with making tea! I once again connected with him and enjoyed his joy at spending time with me, and just how excited he was to teach me how to be in his virtual world and once more guide me out of mine.

Come learn how we use our BE SAY DO HAVE Ⓒ model and join in the conversation –

ContentedParenting

Have Bag Will Pop Up or In!

Pop Up Talks for your Family, School, Business, Workplace.

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These flexible, fun and fairly priced 1.5 – 3 hour sessions include –
– What’s all the Stress About? – ways to teach each other to relax.
– Contented Parenting – a Behavioural Transformation model
– Mind Space in the Work Place – creating space to just BE?
– Yoga & Mindfulness –  how 5 minute movement breaks can create a calm and flexible school/family/workplace community
– Lessons From A Teenager –  lessons FROM teens – giving them a powerful voice
– How to Love What You Do
– Social Media – The Principles of Using Social Media Successfully – the importance of creating who you are, who your network is and understanding edge ranking.
– How to Grow Your Own Vegetables!
& more to suit you.
Why not get a group together and we will come to you?
Pick a day and time from these slots – Monday & Tuesday between 9.30am – 3.00pm,  Wednesdays 6.00pm to 10.00pm and Saturday afternoons 1.00pm – 5.00pm
We can also Pop In and offer one to one sessions for kids, parents, friends, business owners & colleagues.
Please see our meetup group for more scheduled workshops too.

Can We Encourage Our Kids to Be More Responsible?

Kids spending too much time on screens, overloaded with homework, stressed out over friendships, ignoring your requests to help out around the house repeatedly?

We Can Kids
These Monday sessions will provide fresh air, fun and opportunities to explore ways they can take more ‘responsibility’ for themselves.

For Kids of all ages –

Nature Walks
Games
Art
Yoga
Mindset
Relaxation

Sutherland Park Grounds, Guildford

Mondays 5.30pm – 6.30pm

Plus Tuesday 4th April 2017 10am – 12am

Mum, Primary School Teacher, Yoga & Mindfulness for Kids, Parenting Support, IamBe Practitioner

Jane Tyson

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Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy

A Random Diablog

Laughter, Play and Poetry

I am an IamBic Master Practitioner –  IamBe was the goddess of Laughter, Play and Rhyme,  I’ve written about her before here. My Communication and Connection Model is based on these principles with metaphorical flashing!  For may years I have explored the benefits of  ‘play’ in both little and big people and most mornings I set an intention to be playful and to not sweat the small stuff.

This week, I found a vintage red suitcase in a skip, I’m often on the look out for them,  it was a bit rusty and tired but it was perfect for my random lifestyle.  Inside were a few vintage books including  ‘Indoor & Community Games‘ by Sid G Hedges 1943, an exciting find (do I need to get out more?)

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Connection & Communication Through Play

Since the introduction of the PS4 games console in the house, there has been a lot of falling out over fair usage, screen time – ‘it’s so unfair our friends get to play on it all night’ and when they do come off there’s noticeable irritability and stress and this coupled with a hormonal pre-teen. Later today, when my husband returns we are having our weekly family meeting about the best way forward with these frustrations.

The kids and I have been having a lot of fun reading the book and playing some of the simple games. They have relaxed and connection and communication has been restored. They’ve just walked to Sainsburys together too, hopefully they will sustain this friendship on their adventure and not part company in the frozen ailse.

Enjoy these Games 

Here are a couple of the simple games we’ve explored and enjoyed –

Giant Sneeze 

Split into 3 teams and appoint these 3 names – Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy
Count to 3 and then call out the name assigned to the person or team in unison and loudly to create a giant sneeze!

Laughing Game – Rollicking Fun! 

‘Someone of merry disposition is chosen to lead the game and sits in the middle of the room. He tosses up a handkerchief and immediately breaks into a rollicking laugh. Everyone else must laugh too, and the laughing must continue as long as the handkerchief is in the air. But the instant that it touches the floor every face must become stern again, and anyone who shows even the slightest trace of a smile is compelled to drop out of the game. The handkerchief is then thrown up a fresh and the game goes on until all the players have been disqualified’ 

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I love this smelly old random book, it’s going to continue to be played with.

Jane x

It’s free to join our meet up group, come and play!
See also my Twitter video about this – @JaneTyson

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Lost Connection

A Random Diablog – Family Connection

Cast your thoughts back to your day.

When during the day did you fully engage and connect with your child(ren)?

Just Got To Finish This… 

Like all kids, my kids are busy, they play out with other kids, watch TV, get absorbed in a book or nerf game, or quite often are on their screens for their ‘screen time‘. When they take a break from what they are doing, chances are we are distracted on a screen too or absorbed by a household task, or our minds are elsewhere. The children might strike up a conversation or want to show us something and we often say ‘oh just a sec, just finishing this’ or we listen but our attention isn’t quite there. 

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Then when we are in the zone to sit and talk they aren’t,  the opportunity is lost and they are off distracted too!

Look for Opportunities to Connect

Notice when opportunities to connect offline arise and when they do, stop and be fully present to what they are saying and doing and immerse yourself in the experience.  This could be a valuable moment for you to connect together and it’s on their time – even better that the conversation starts with them.

Why Connection is Important

When we connect to ourselves, we are in the right space to connect to others.  I wrote about this earlier in the week how can we be when we are so busy doingWe slow down and teach our kids to do the same, and when we connect with them it makes them feel noticed and valued and the mood in the home can change considerably.

We can even tell our children what we are doing.

A Parenting & Kids Model for Behavioural Transformation

You might know a parent who’d like to come along to this rather unique & unusual parenting workshop –

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For a full list of our meet ups click here 
#parentingrascal #RandDialEvent #LWWD