Category Archives: calm

Glugs Wine, Listens to Silence

Are you Tuned in?

Just imagine being together as a family and really listening to each other, responding, and emotionally tuning in. Can you hand on heart say you do this, that nobody is distracted by anything else going on? You are truly present and in the moment… ah nice.  Then the kids have a disagreement, it escalates, and it all goes horribly wrong, (keeping it real) and it does, let’s face it.  What do you do in the eye of the storm – mum or dad in the middle?  Is their argument a result of unresolved conflict,which the kids are too upset about and maybe too immature to let go of.  Perhaps, they haven’t had a space to talk about their upset or be listened to?  Does it ever feel just a little like groundhog day?

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Decline in Listening Skills 

Research has found a significant decrease in children’s listening skills over the past decade,  can you guess why? I wonder too if this doesn’t apply to adults and sitting together as a family.  I’ve put together a ‘listening’ programme which  I’m sharing with the children and colleagues  I teach alongside  in school.

Meanwhile, parent(s) finishes meal and glugs more wine and enjoys listening to silence, and tunes out. Silent is listen rearranged.

What do you DO after a family UPSET, how does it leave you feeling and what’s that like?

What do you Need?

How do we create time for family connection, spaces to talk to one another and be heard?

Today, just become AWARE of the above.  And Pause. (a previous blog about Pausing) .  I have a photo of an owl, which reminds me to  listen, notice and be wise. Often, I think of the owl when I have a quiet time or meditate. Perhaps imagery will help you too?

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I’ll share listening ideas on my social media page this week. @FrustrationExpert

I hear you

So right now what do you need? What can make family life calmer?

Each month, I’m  creating a regular morning of family connection which will respond to your needs and those of your  family, it will be ‘agile’ and ‘flexible’ and at the moment in Guildford, venue tbc. I hear you.

What do you like best?

What could help you to disconnect from all the busyness of life, to be more present and bonded as a family? Have a read of this link here  and see what you like best about the mornings. Come along with your children to learn some of these simple skills and take them away to use with your family between sessions. You will feel more relaxed, more present to listen and this will filter across family life. Plus they’ll be ongoing support for you between meet ups. If your children prefer not to join you then come by yourself, as I’ll share ideas for you to use at home. 

Seeking Open Hearts & Curious Minds

Please do share this with any family you think would benefit from joining us. I’ve not specified ages, just a willingness to give it a go with an open heart and curious mind.

Jane x

#frustrationexpert

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What Will You Settle On Today?

What will you settle on today?

Some people love being preoccupied with thoughts.

Thoughts provide them with constant entertainment, interaction, they believe thinking is important.

They are addicted to distraction and fearful of boredom, inner silence, or feeling alone without them.

Our minds are often likened to busy monkeys leaping from tree to tree or butterflies fluttering from flower to flower.

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We are good at multitasking, reacting, and scanning for the pleasant, unpleasant or neutral and choosing all the time between them.

Life is fast paced, work is busy, families are doing, schools are cramming…

So what can we settle on today to stabilise our mind and respond more to situations?

How can we allow the butterfly to settle, the monkey to still?

Jane Tyson

Feeling Frustrated? Get Present

Someone or Something Frustrating You?

Repeat this 5 times –

‘The Point of Power is Always in the Present Moment’ 
I love this and it’s something I say to myself as a ‘reminder’ when something is taking me away from being present.  Just saying it has a calming effect.
Extracted from one of my favourite books ‘You Can Heal Your Life’ by Louise Hay.
This photo is my daughter fully present winning a race when we were in Tanzania! Exercise is a great way to get ‘present’ too.
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#frustrationexpert #contentedparenting

Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy

A Random Diablog

Laughter, Play and Poetry

I am an IamBic Master Practitioner –  IamBe was the goddess of Laughter, Play and Rhyme,  I’ve written about her before here. My Communication and Connection Model is based on these principles with metaphorical flashing!  For may years I have explored the benefits of  ‘play’ in both little and big people and most mornings I set an intention to be playful and to not sweat the small stuff.

This week, I found a vintage red suitcase in a skip, I’m often on the look out for them,  it was a bit rusty and tired but it was perfect for my random lifestyle.  Inside were a few vintage books including  ‘Indoor & Community Games‘ by Sid G Hedges 1943, an exciting find (do I need to get out more?)

games

Connection & Communication Through Play

Since the introduction of the PS4 games console in the house, there has been a lot of falling out over fair usage, screen time – ‘it’s so unfair our friends get to play on it all night’ and when they do come off there’s noticeable irritability and stress and this coupled with a hormonal pre-teen. Later today, when my husband returns we are having our weekly family meeting about the best way forward with these frustrations.

The kids and I have been having a lot of fun reading the book and playing some of the simple games. They have relaxed and connection and communication has been restored. They’ve just walked to Sainsburys together too, hopefully they will sustain this friendship on their adventure and not part company in the frozen ailse.

Enjoy these Games 

Here are a couple of the simple games we’ve explored and enjoyed –

Giant Sneeze 

Split into 3 teams and appoint these 3 names – Hishy, Hashy, Hoshy
Count to 3 and then call out the name assigned to the person or team in unison and loudly to create a giant sneeze!

Laughing Game – Rollicking Fun! 

‘Someone of merry disposition is chosen to lead the game and sits in the middle of the room. He tosses up a handkerchief and immediately breaks into a rollicking laugh. Everyone else must laugh too, and the laughing must continue as long as the handkerchief is in the air. But the instant that it touches the floor every face must become stern again, and anyone who shows even the slightest trace of a smile is compelled to drop out of the game. The handkerchief is then thrown up a fresh and the game goes on until all the players have been disqualified’ 

play

I love this smelly old random book, it’s going to continue to be played with.

Jane x

It’s free to join our meet up group, come and play!
See also my Twitter video about this – @JaneTyson

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A Christmas Chi Swim

Ever had a Chi Swim, a swim where you experience  calm, connection and conciousness? Nor had I, so ever curious, I decided to try it at the Christmas Day swimming session at Spectrum Leisure Centre in Guildford.

This year, I’ve explored more Tai Chi and Qi Gong and have met some very inspirational teachers and pupils. Once I stopped being frustrated with trying to follow the moves and get them right I started to just enjoy moving and being in a meditative state even if I often made it up. With each new session the sequence of moves is becoming clearer and more flowing.

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Tai Chi skills for me mean connecting and communicating with breath, body and energy.  For Christmas, Nanny Gill gave me Danny Dreyer’s  book ‘Chi Running  which gave me the idea to try Chi Swimming. He says the underlying skills in this running form are :

  • focus
  • body sensing
  • breathing
  • relaxing

He continues,  the process is the goal. Chi skills are valuable skills and worthwhile goals at the same time. So each time we practice focusing our mind, we are accomplishing our goal of being focused.

I largely made up my Christmas Chi Swim, I’m sure there’s plenty of writing out finsthere about it however, I’ve decided to write from this experience first and then check what it says after as part of my own learning process.

Firstly, I looked across the water and knew that I wanted to swim 40 lengths, so set an intention to swim them in under 30 minutes. I visualised myself achieving this and sensed how my body and mind would be. I stood, breathed and centered for a moment before I got in the water.

I focused on my dantien, the energy in my core, more here.  I wanted to glide through the water with minimal effort or muscle tension in my limbs with this invisible,  pure energy flowing through my body.

I have swimming fins, which I’m sure are quite a cheats way to swim but they really do help with my alignment and balance and they helped me to achieve a noise and splash reduced swim. I used my arms and hands mostly in front crawl motion, focusing on long smooth, relaxed and efficient movements. I was more aware than ever of the water and felt very present to this and the noises around. My breathing was as long as deep as possible and during the rest breaks I continued to inhale and exhale with awareness.

The swim was sub 30 minutes, infact I also became less aware of the time. It’s definitely an experience I wish to repeat as I did not only feel calm, connected and concious throughout but these sensations lasted the remainder of Christmas Day.

If you’ve ever explored a chi swim or would like to find out more you might also enjoy this chi doggy paddle to get you started.

Jane x