Are you Tuned in?
Just imagine being together as a family and really listening to each other, responding, and emotionally tuning in. Can you hand on heart say you do this, that nobody is distracted by anything else going on? You are truly present and in the moment… ah nice. Then the kids have a disagreement, it escalates, and it all goes horribly wrong, (keeping it real) and it does, let’s face it. What do you do in the eye of the storm – mum or dad in the middle? Is their argument a result of unresolved conflict,which the kids are too upset about and maybe too immature to let go of. Perhaps, they haven’t had a space to talk about their upset or be listened to? Does it ever feel just a little like groundhog day?
A Decline in Listening Skills
Research has found a significant decrease in children’s listening skills over the past decade, can you guess why? I wonder too if this doesn’t apply to adults and sitting together as a family. I’ve put together a ‘listening’ programme which I’m sharing with the children and colleagues I teach alongside in school.
Meanwhile, parent(s) finishes meal and glugs more wine and enjoys listening to silence, and tunes out. Silent is listen rearranged.
What do you DO after a family UPSET, how does it leave you feeling and what’s that like?
What do you Need?
How do we create time for family connection, spaces to talk to one another and be heard?
Today, just become AWARE of the above. And Pause. (a previous blog about Pausing) . I have a photo of an owl, which reminds me to listen, notice and be wise. Often, I think of the owl when I have a quiet time or meditate. Perhaps imagery will help you too?
I’ll share listening ideas on my social media page this week. @FrustrationExpert
I hear you
So right now what do you need? What can make family life calmer?
Each month, I’m creating a regular morning of family connection which will respond to your needs and those of your family, it will be ‘agile’ and ‘flexible’ and at the moment in Guildford, venue tbc. I hear you.
What do you like best?
What could help you to disconnect from all the busyness of life, to be more present and bonded as a family? Have a read of this link here and see what you like best about the mornings. Come along with your children to learn some of these simple skills and take them away to use with your family between sessions. You will feel more relaxed, more present to listen and this will filter across family life. Plus they’ll be ongoing support for you between meet ups. If your children prefer not to join you then come by yourself, as I’ll share ideas for you to use at home.
Seeking Open Hearts & Curious Minds
Please do share this with any family you think would benefit from joining us. I’ve not specified ages, just a willingness to give it a go with an open heart and curious mind.