Monthly Archives: February 2017

Shrove Tuesday – Do you give a Toss?

What is Shrove Tuesday?

Going through this week’s calendar and getting organised, I note it’s pancake day on Tuesday. I’ve taught the meaning of this to kids over the years in different schools, and remember that the word  shrove is linked to being shriven from sin. In past times there was a call to confession with the pancake bell.

Fasting

Some research suggests that people used up their store cupboard ingredients in the pancakes,  so they were eaten before the 40 fasting period of Lent. Other reading points to the ingredients having pagan symbolism.

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I feel so bad

In my youthful, naive, fresh teaching days I used to talk to the children about giving up things for Lent, ‘so kids what are you going to give up, what sins/wrongs are you committing that need to be put right?’ now I’d say ‘what’s going right for you that you could explore further, what value could you add to others?’

Stop beating yourself up

Giving up things just makes us think of them even more and we might even start to crave them and then feel ‘bad’ when we give in.  I’m rather bored of either feeling good and bad and hearing talk of feeling guilty because I ate this or did that. I’d rather not teach kids to beat themselves up. Let’s teach them about balance.  I wrote about a blog about developing an abundance mindset here.untitled-design-5

How can we ‘add’ more value?

My 10 year old daughter sometimes tells me she’s fat. I’ve been so careful about only celebrating our bodies, I’ve never spoken of going on a diet or asked whether my bum looks big in this.  Yet she’s picking up messages about image from all around – school, the TV, books etc. I ask her what can she do more of that’s good for her, what does she enjoy, what makes her feel good and importantly I need to role model this myself. 

Happy Tossing.

Movement, Mindset and Mindfulness Classes for kids starting on Shrove Tuesday – Movement, Mindfulness & Mindset for Kids

Jane x

 

 

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Vampire Avatars

A Meeting With Maurice

Yesterday, I had tea with my friend Maurice, who I met via my friend Keith Grover at one of his raucous My Team afternoons.  Maurice, is a man of many talents and he shared some ideas with me, including how to get rid of an energy sucking vampire avatar, however this isn’t what this blog is about. Rather it’s a blog on connecting and communicating through word play, and through play we help to banish our demons.

Maurice’s fascinating portfolio includes the writing of a book on Haikus.  With 20 years in teaching,  I have taught these to children many times, and Maurice’s reflections gave me fresh perspective and inspiration. Whilst teaching today, the children and I each took a creative and short pause to write one.

What is a Haiku?

Maurice explained that a Haiku is often about nature and takes someone into the moment – often it encapsulates a moment for you – something that matters, that we can  see or feel and it can be an emotional release.  We can read a Haiku many times over and each time, get a new understanding about it.

They have 17 syllables (moras in Japan) in total with 5 in the first and last lines and 7 in the middle. They may be written over 3 lines and in some cases one.

I’m sure he explains more in his book but I kept it simple, no rigid rules were required, it was a collaborative, creative and connecting 10 minutes with thirty 9  year olds.

How To Write a Haiku

Some of the children took to it straight away and  those who didn’t have an idea, I suggested they close their eyes, or gaze and see what comes to them.   One little girl imagined a cherry tree, and happily went off to write.

I closed my eyes, as we had done in Maurice’s avatar visualisation and grass appeared, so I wrote my Haiku and for the purpose of this blog, created this free image with text on canva. I’ll write and illustrate another by hand later as I think there’s something organic and releasing about the process.

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Not sure if my Haiku is a metaphor release for Dracula,  can’t feel it at the moment.

Whilst out with my family for lunch we  had some fun creating them which I added to this page

Enjoy playing with word, please share your Haikus in the comments below.

Jane
Giving You a Powerful Voice, Vision & Choice

 

 

A Bored Book.

A ‘Bored’ Book

How many times a day do your children tell you they are bored?

Maybe you have children who can easily entertain themselves, and spend the day just making, creating and playing, I’d really love to hear from you for this idea.

I notice that if kids are on their computers, tablets, phones, PS4s etc they never seem to tire.  It’s when they come off them that they find it hard to transition from this over stimulated time to a space where they now have to do something ‘boring’ instead.

Screens produce an experience we can’t recreate

I read once that when we are on our screens, certain chemicals are released – maybe it was dopamine or seratonin – that can’t be recreated in the brain at the same levels once we come off.  For example, as a teacher, I cannot replicate the multisensory stimulation that a screen induces, hence children don’t always listen so well, sit still, retain information and they get bored quicker, however if I put on a YouTube clip explaining the same thing, they are all eyes, ears and interest for a long time, it is their language.

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This photo was taken when we were in Africa. These kids played and collaborated endlessly with the tyre, they had no screens.

What do kids do when they aren’t on screens?

My son had a friend over, they’d had some screen time together and the hour timer was up, so after a few reminders they came off and didn’t know what to do. They asked to go back on again and we said no that they could go and find something else. This  quite often means they go round the friend’s house to play on the screens there instead.

It took them about 10 minutes to transition to outdoor play and they soon found themselves engaged in a nerf gun war, followed by fire building with Paul in the garden. With the screens off, they had to find something to do, it’s so easy though sometimes to just let them go back on again and loose track of time. They might mope about inbetween waiting for their next fix.  Meanwhile, we also bury our faces in Facebook, Twitter, Gmail etc, driven to distraction.

Why are we so Bored?

We know it’s good to be bored, creativity often stems from boredom and head space. Why though are we so bored? Some say we are over-stimulated, the more we have the more we need and it’s hard to put up with the slow stuff in between. Are you reading this whilst doing or thinking about other things at the same time?  Or maybe it’s too long and boring to even read. Our kids are no different.

A ‘bored’ book for kids written by kids.

I’d like to create an e-book of ideas for kids of things to do when they aren’t on their screens. I’d love your children to contribute to this please, and if they are willing to, could you share their ideas in the comments below with an image if possible of the activity.  I’ll obviously give them a credit.  All ages welcome.

Things to do that are free, with little or no adult intervention.  I wonder if we they can come up with 3 or more boring ideas?

Jane x

janetyson.co.uk

What did you have for lunch, who did you play with?

Did you eat all your peas and carrots…

Would you like your child to speak to you more and share their feelings openly and freely with you without asking? Read on as this will help.

Scenario 1 – you greet your child after a busy day and ask them all about it – who they played with, what they had for lunch, did they eat all their peas and carrots, what they did in maths, have they got homework and so. You ask them question after question (some parents I spoke to say they question like this because they feel they ‘ought’ to).

Scenario 2– your child is playing with for example their lego, you go over to join in and begin to take over. Maybe you want the bricks to match, the windows aren’t in the right place, and the door opens the wrong way.  You start to question and probe and join in with their play in a rather controlling way.  The child soon looses interest, walks off and you start to worry about their lack of commitment and connection!

Scenario 3 – your teen is in their room, the door is closed they are on their screen, you haven’t had a conversation in a while.

Do any of these sound familiar to you?

Let’s Rewind the Scenes

janetyson-co-uk

How could you just enjoy being ‘alongside’ them?

‘There once was a wise man who said nothing’

How about you just sit there with them, in the moment and just be and not actually do anything. That’s right just be quiet. Breathe, sit and be with them. It might be hard not to talk and take over – so practice. They’ve been over-stimulated, over stretched and haven’t stopped all day, their brains are full!  Allow them a break.  It’s OK to be quiet, allow yourself to be quiet too.

Reframe the situation, what can we learn from the child, what are they teaching us about being in the moment? Notice them.

Soon, they will start to enjoy your peaceful presence and invite you into their space and start to engage with you.  You may even find they start to guide you with what to do, ask you questions and  even tell you things that are on their mind because you have allowed them some space and time alongside you, they feel free and safe to express themselves.   Resist asking them too much and taking over, enjoy being childlike with them for a while. With older children you may say something like I’m just going to come and sit with you for a while, so you watch them on their screen for 10 minutes or so, again you don’t need to speak you are just alongside them, see what happens you will be surprised.

Little and often.

To a Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E (1)

IamBe Approach

Are you wanting a little guidance and support to help you to communicate and connect within your family? I am an IamBe Master Practitioner, more details about what I do are over on my Linked-In page here which includes a full list of workshops including our ‘BE SAY DO HAVE’ Ⓒ Contented Parenting model here.

Jane Tyson x

Whilst at University studying Education and Child Psychology,  I volunteered with various ‘play’ schemes and trained as a ‘Play Leader’ alongside children in mainstream and special educational need settings from 4 to 18. These experiences led me into Primary School teaching and yoga and mindfulness for families.  My stepmother and two step sisters are both play therapists, so I’ve been pretty immersed and passionate about play for 25 years, well 45.  

Core Process – Exploring Play.

So it finally happened…

A Random Diablog

I have always enjoyed publicly holding my children’s hands and cuddling them. I usually wait for them to take my hand and I love it when they do, it’s not like I chase them up the street desperate, it’s just something that occurs naturally. It’s an instant love connection.  It’s usually when we are  shopping and having some one to one time together.

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When my son was younger my friend advised me to make the most of this public affection and cuddles, because her son at 14 would barely be seen with her! So I followed this advice and appreciated all these moments and enjoyed them.

Yesterday, my 12 year old son  turned to me and said he found it embarassing that I hug him publicly, had done for a while and sorry to hurt my feelings. (I think I’m lucky to have stretched it out this far!) I was momentarily shocked and then we both laughed.

It’s exciting moving into teenagedom.

I can sneak those cuddles in at home, they aren’t gone just moved indoors.

Enjoy every cuddle and arm swing and remember to play.

janetyson.co.uk

Meetup.com/Random-Dialogues

Movement, Mindfulness & Mindset Classes for Kids

Classes specifically for your child –

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How would it feel to have a relaxed, happy and confident child – what would that mean to you as a parent?

I run a weekday class in Guildford and Saturday workshops across Surrey and help your child to –

Discover ways to overcome fears and anxiety
Problem solve on their own, learning from their mistakes
Think more independently
Develop a ‘can do’ attitude
Make friends and keep friends
Create a ‘growth’ mindset and optimism

These relaxed, fun and playful Tuesday Sessions are for young people aged 6 to teen. Run over 4 weeks.

AND also included –

  • relaxation techniques
  • games for growth led by the older children
  • yoga
  • affirmations that work
  • gratitude as a way of life
  • charismatic and powerful body language
  • Qi Gong and Tai Chi especially for kids
  • effortless intention setting
  • mindfulness and more
  • taking responsibility
    Each class is £6 which you can pay as you go, or book in the link below.
    £20 for the 4 weeks payable on the first session.
    Tuesdays 5.15pm – 6.30pm

I also offer one to one and family support, or alternatively get a group of children together and I will come to you and run the sessions.

Book Here or Pay as You Go

Let’s connect Linked In – I’d love to find out what you LOVE to do – janetyson.co.uk

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BE_say-do_HAVE

How many of us are in this state of BE? I ‘say’ this ‘doing’ my typing and wanting to ‘have’ an answer. Thank you Aypee.

AyPee's Funteresting Blog

Behave yourselves
(Its all a question of imagination)

iStock_000009165312_ExtraSmallBehave yourselves and do what you are told!
As a child you may had heard that at school or home or both.

I am finding more and more that I am using the ‘BeSayDoHave’ model on clients, and friends, who are stopped or confused about where they are in their lives.
That seems to be the common theme in life right now OR it just occurs to me that way.

There is a certain directionless in people’s lives.
I think because they are buying into the recession thing and the pointlessness they believe as a result.

Actually, never before have we had so much opportunity to imagine and create!

But we are certainly in transition.
Social Media is causing and assisting that big time.
We are amidst a Social Revolution which is bringing all sorts of authority under…

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