What do YOU want for your children? For them to be well behaved or to do well at school? Or maybe you just want them to be happy and achieve what they can in life.
But what makes our children happy and confident?
To give them what they WANT:
more sweets, to stay up late, no chores, longer screen time, the newest phone/gadgets, no nagging, getting everything ready for them – packing their school bags, fixing and solving their problems, keeping on top of their homework
Or will they be happier if we give them what they NEED:
healthy food, limited sugar, agreed & restricted screen time, realistic & agreed chores and responsibilities, consistent rules, consequences so they learn from their mistakes and for them to organise their everyday life and activities?
So what our children want and what they really need often have little in common. We are not doing them any favours or making our children happier by giving them what they THINK they want… as it will be taking away the greatest gift of all:
independence and a sense of responsibility.
Children who are not trusted or trained to be self-reliant often have a low self-esteem; they don’t get to experience achievement and success – to feel the outcome of their efforts and being noticed for doing so.
They will find school life harder to cope with than their friends as they are not used to looking after themselves and being organised.
Mostly parents say they end up nagging –
“why can’t you do more by yourself!”
Children like rules and routine; it makes them feel safe, secure and happy in an already stressful and confusing world.
Let’s make our kids happy and give them what they really need and in the process feel confident, successful and happy in our parenting.
You will lead your child toward greater independence and self-reliance which will not only help them to do better at school but will also boost their confidence – as we all like to be trusted to do things for ourselves and others.
Children who are self-reliant not only do what they are told the first time but they will also start doing things on their own…without being told. Yes, wouldn’t that be nice?
So ask yourself: what does your child need in order to be happy, perhaps it’s –
• For you to give back some of the self-imposed chores you have taken upon yourself to do and start allowing your child to do them for themselves?
• To start having planned chores and responsibilities, so your child gets a chance to show what they really can do?
• More realistic consequences, in order for them to become responsible for their own behaviour and action?
• Time and space to problem-solve their own every day issues, without you stepping in to fix them?
• For you to step back and allow your child to make a mistake, get up, fix it, try again and enjoy the success which they have achieved?
Parenting Success Team x
If you would like to learn more about raising independent children then I look forward to seeing you at my next workshop on October 12th 2016. If this date doesn’t suit you may prefer to Home Host